First Date NOs

(December 18, 2012)


So, left and right, people have been telling me to go date now with the purpose of finding ‘the guy’.

Yeah, I know. I appreciate the concern of friends but they need not tell me that. It’s always in the back of my mind. But it’s just that I don’t want to hurry and go for some ‘pwede na’ guy.

Recently though, I chatted with this cutie online and found him quite interesting. What’s nice about it is that he lives just nearby. But up to the point when I decided I’m not going to give more effort anymore, I never got to meet him.


What caught my attention was his profile statement about himself. Quite deep I thought… and we all know that it’s rare to find such in PR where people paint a glorified version of themselves.

So, he’s also in the media creatives… does graphics design. He has tats… my weakness, of course…converses intelligently yet humbly. And you know… he provides for his mom and sister… and that’s a very candy sweet pogi points as far as I’m concerned.

He told me stuff that made me feel that we can connect on many things in life. I thought he’s grounded. Although he works at home, I understand that he still has the same pressures as anyone working in an office environment. It could be worse actually because any problem at home can affect work right away.

I had a relationship once and we had a home-based office, it was so bad we can’t tell what we’re fighting about anymore even by the time we go to bed and rise the following day, I wanted to jump out of our 28th floor window. No… after that I promised myself never to go through that ever again.Hayst!


So, several times we’ve talked about meeting up at least for a tambay and yosi conversation but never got to do so.

At one point, he offered to meet one afternoon somewhere halfway from both ends. And then he said if it’s okay that we hang-out at his friend’s place. That then held me back.

I told him that it’s not a good idea, explained that we haven’t even met and that’s already a world of conversation. And to meet him for the first time along with other strangers would be very awkward.

He didn’t like my thought about his offer and said that I’m too ‘OC’. I said ‘no, it’s not really that’. Told him further that for one, it’s him who told me that he hasn’t been enjoying a time out from his work for quite a while and it’s his only time to unwind. So I said, it’s either he chooses to just chill and spend time with his buddies… meet me on another occasion or he goes out to meet me because it’s gonna be an effort to do both and he’s not going to fully enjoy his ‘time out’.

He couldn’t understand me of course, thought that I was belittling him or his circle. And again I tried to explain but he already felt that I wasn’t the type he likes.

I gave up. I realized that he’s also not the kind of guy I thought he was too.


You see guys, it’s really unaccommodating to a guy you’re dating for the first time to meet him with your crowd. First, you’re just going to end up trying to make him feel at ease while at the same time finding a way for you to enjoy yourself with your friends.

Second… and trust me on this if you haven’t experienced it before… you’re going to put your date on a very uncomfortable situation whether you’re friends are the best or they’re the ‘dare I care’ type. Your date will always be ending up hanging on air trying to pretend to enjoy while he doesn’t understand most of the conversations and worse be on the hot seat…the Boy Abunda kind.

Unless he’s narcissistic and loves to talk about himself and his dating life… it’s a nightmare for one to get subjected to that sort of conversation.

To top it all, by the end of your date… you’d realize that you didn’t get to really talk and get to know what you really want to know about him, and he you. Too bad if you realize that he’s kind of your type because most likely, he won’t want to hang out with you anymore.

He’d be thinking that you purposely did that to play it safe… in case he’s not your type.

An hey… there could be another scenario... and huh, this is the worse version.

Your date could also end up getting more interested on one of your barkada and they’d leave you wishing in the end that you shouldn’t have brought him to a date with your buddies. And you’ll sure lose one friend you never expect to bite on your own prey.

You know peeps, these group dates, they rarely work. It would if your date knows at least someone from your peer group. If not… then hell, he’ll wish he didn’t agree to meet you in the first place.


As for me and the guy who couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to meet him with his friends… I never got in touch with him again… at first not for a while at least hoping in the smallest amount of expectation that he’d realize what I meant and he’d call to apologize. But he never did. And I though dedma.

No regrets on my part. The good thing about it is that I found out sooner that he’s not close to being the type of guy I’d like to go out on a date with. Dedma na rin on the curiosity on his pa-deep and emotional dramas.