Had a weird friday.
Nung umaga, inabot ako ng traffic sa Mindanao Ave at naka-idlip sa FX. Pagbaba ng SM North, diridiretso sa info counter para magpa-load. May beki at gel na humarap sakin habang nagpapa-load. Nagulat ako sa sinabi nung beki na sales guy, kamukha ko raw si Georgina Wilson. hahahaha
Palibhasa siguro nakatali ang buhok ko pataas at nakatulog ng kaunti, medyo puffy ang mata ko? Pero first time ko talaga na masabihang kamukha ko yung model though sanay na akong nasasabihang kamukha ni ganito ni ganyan o napagkakamalang kakilala nila. napaka-generic kasi ng itsura ko. hahahahah...
Nung pag-alis ko tuloy, napatingin ako sa glass panel ng body shop para tingnan kung may hawig nga. hahah
Tapos nung pa-taxi naman ako ng tanghali papunta sa Family Planning Organization of the Philippines, sabi ko sa west ang daan at alam ko na ang traffic ng lahat ng ruta. Alam ko na rin ang patak ng metro. ang kulit ng driver at nag-edsa, di pa nagkasya at sa morato pa talaga dadaan as if 'di nya alam kung gaano ka-traffic doon anumang oras. pumatak ng isandaan na kung tutuusin ay sa ganung patak dapat nasa gilmore na ako. syempre umakyat ang dugo ko sa ulo at hinintay sumbra ang patak dahil bababa ako at babayaran ng kulang ang litsugas na drayber.
imbis na convenience ang hinangad ko, lalo pa akong na-inconvenience at napagastos. sarap mambuntal!
Pagkarating ng gabi at pabalik na naman ng rutang SM North, akala ko nakasalubong ang isang kaybigan dahil sa tatoo sa leeg ng isang lalaki. syempre nung makitang hindi s'ya didiretso na sana ako. pero bumati at nagsalita ang lalaki. napalingon ako kung sinong kausap n'ya. sumabay sakin maglakad.
nakipagkilala. pasensya daw kung masyado s'yang forward. isip ko, sige okay lang. basahin ko at pustahin kung anong trip nun. pasok daw kami ng mall. sunod naman ako. thought, kaya ko naman siyang gulpihin kahit mas malaki sakin kung ano man.
syempre pa sumagi sa isip ko na talaga namang may asim din naman ako kahit paano. thought baka may gusto sakin at ang haba ng buhok ko. hahahaha. pero mas dalawa ang ipinupusta ko. gusto mag-trip o money boy.
turns out, money boy nga. nagtanong ba naman sakin kung ok na bang mag-KFC kami. kahit medyo expected, napa-'Ha?' pa rin ako. Ganun na ba ang itsura ko, matronang beki para lapitan ng money boys? NYAR!
Sabi ko, katatapos ko lang kumain. Sabi n'ya ah, ok... kung saan daw ba ang punta ko. Sabi ko, may imi-meet ako. Nag-sori s'ya 'di n'ya daw in-expect na may boyfriend ako. hahahah. sakay pa rin ako at 'di na lang nagkomento. sabi n'ya sige, una na raw s'ya at baka magalit ang syota ko.
Mixed ang effect sakin. Mukha rin ba akong imposibleng magka-syota? wow! at the same time, parang naawa tuloy ako dun sa guy. thought that he just wanted to have a meal.
but then again, i thought. he seems healthier than me and may good looks naman. kung yung pagha-hussle ang gusto n'ya, pwede naman s'yang mag-try mag-pink soft porn.
hahah
really weird day nung biyernes.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
THREE CHOICES
For about a month now, I’ve been sleeping with a guy who’s eleven years younger. He’s really nice actually…texts and calls regularly just to talk about random things and flirt. But more recently, he’s beginning to check up on me to find out if I’m seeing other guys. Uncool right? Especially when I already talked with him about what we have to expect of our set-up since day one.
But you know, for a guy his age… he’s supposed to be ‘the good catch’. He looks good, reminds you of Tony Leung’s earlier films. And shape? Whew… an artist’s muse. He’s funny and goofy (which works on me). He’s a charmer. He would even go as far as court you (uh huh!) by doing cheesy and sometimes outrageous things just to express his fondness of you. Oh, did I mention tats? Well, not many of us are into it but for those who are, he’s one fine canvass that make you stare until you come. lol
And best of all, he feels he’s ready to fall in love. But again… for guy like me… he’s still twenty four. And I freaking wonder why the twenty something dummies’ gaydar aren’t intercepting the signal of this wonderful being.
Of course, I’ve always been reminding him that we’ll have to enjoy ‘only’ the things we’re sharing now… and nothing more. Yes, I always tell him that we can’t go farther. For now, he’s okay with it. Question is until when?
I still have got many things to explain to him… make him understand the more complicated stuff he still has to learn in dating and relationships. I’m not the only one who’s having an advantage here, mind you. I’m also doing him a favor, equipping him with the right perspectives so he’d be able to prevent unnecessary hurt and waste of time later on… after he tires of spending time and having sex with me. But these have got to be given gradually… in bits and pieces. I don’t want to drive him away. I love his company. I want to stay friends with him.
So this leads me to the story I want to share. You see guys, I’ve already been in a few situations like this earlier after my breakup with ‘the Ex’. There were a few younger guys who were also wonderful. And much as I wanted to remain good friends with them, they just couldn’t accept such radical set-up. A lot of them got turned off and cut off communication with me after I told them we that needed to be realistic and accept the fact that it’s just going to futile to try building a relationship… not because of the age gap… but because of the things and situations that go with that much hyped-up gap. Of course there’s the fact that I was just out of a very difficult separation.
Okay… so, just weeks before I met and started seeing this 24 year old doll, I was just wrapping up my jogging in QC Circle one night and buying buko juice when I was greeted by another guy I was seeing last year. He’s just about to start jogging and was thrilled to see me after months of no communication.
I learned that he already has a boyfriend and in fact, the ‘bf’ was catching up to join him. Theguy was excited, wanted me to meet his lover and I said, ‘I don’t think I got enough time to stay.’
I know right? Of course it’s an awkward situation. Why the hell did he even think it’s a good idea to introduce us, yeah?
But guys you know, this guys a nice chap too. Yes, still naïve but honestly warm and friendly. I knew he didn’t mean anything else with that idea and more probably just happy to have seen me. But he suddenly looked hurt… you know the kind of look that says you never cease to hurt me.
So I decided to sit down with him and we talked but told him I might not be able to stay longer… and in my mind, hoping that the bf won’t arrive before I leave. After a few catching up chitchats, I told him that it’s not a fantastic idea to introduce me to his bf of only two weeks.
He got confused so he verbalized the thing he was alreadyexpressing with his puppy face. So, I asked him what he wanted to happen and he answered, saying that he just wanted to remain friends… wanted to know what I would think of his bf… because he also wanted us to become friends.
What I told him next freaked him out. First, I told him that he’s just starting out a relationship with his lover and in as early as two weeks, it’s still fragile especially for 20 something people like them who are most likely just having their first serious relationship… and/or living together arrangement… thus very territorial and emotional.
And here’s the rub. I told him that if he wants his bf to become friends with me, it might take me to sleep with him too, at least just once. I explained that it’s the most rational way I could think of to clear the awkward air between us.
Of course he told me that I’m out of my mind. So I replied to him saying that we got only three choices. One is to do that, the other is to pretend that his boyfriend will be so cool enough to never… not even once… develop suspicion of anything going on between us, and third… we could easily just choose to go our separate ways.
I told him that of course, I never even tried doing the first one yet. But I’m sure that whatever radically new kind of friendship will come out of it… no untoward feelings will occur anymore because again… I’m not inclined to find a serious relationship with a much younger guy.
Again, he thought that I always drive him away. He asked if it’s okay to at least hug me before he leaves (out of hurt… or disgust). I let him and hugged him back.Toldhim as I hugged him tight that I care for him more than he thought I did. But it’ll take some time before he finally gets my point of view.
So now… back to this new guy… I want to condition him slowly… now that he’s becoming more and more insistent on defining what’s going on between us.
I just hope that it won’t end up bitterly too. He really has so many things to experience yet, and I don’t want to be the one who’d snatch those away from him. If only I’m still 24, I’d let my guard down and won’t even miss the chance to experience his love.
But in my own reality, it’s almost impossible to even think that I can spend the next ten years in bliss with him. I just can’t put a blind eye on this reality. It hurts me to be hurting someone’s heart, especially this beautiful soul… but someone’s got to be awake all the time.
The next time I’m having a date, I’m going to tell him straight.
But you know, for a guy his age… he’s supposed to be ‘the good catch’. He looks good, reminds you of Tony Leung’s earlier films. And shape? Whew… an artist’s muse. He’s funny and goofy (which works on me). He’s a charmer. He would even go as far as court you (uh huh!) by doing cheesy and sometimes outrageous things just to express his fondness of you. Oh, did I mention tats? Well, not many of us are into it but for those who are, he’s one fine canvass that make you stare until you come. lol
And best of all, he feels he’s ready to fall in love. But again… for guy like me… he’s still twenty four. And I freaking wonder why the twenty something dummies’ gaydar aren’t intercepting the signal of this wonderful being.
Of course, I’ve always been reminding him that we’ll have to enjoy ‘only’ the things we’re sharing now… and nothing more. Yes, I always tell him that we can’t go farther. For now, he’s okay with it. Question is until when?
I still have got many things to explain to him… make him understand the more complicated stuff he still has to learn in dating and relationships. I’m not the only one who’s having an advantage here, mind you. I’m also doing him a favor, equipping him with the right perspectives so he’d be able to prevent unnecessary hurt and waste of time later on… after he tires of spending time and having sex with me. But these have got to be given gradually… in bits and pieces. I don’t want to drive him away. I love his company. I want to stay friends with him.
So this leads me to the story I want to share. You see guys, I’ve already been in a few situations like this earlier after my breakup with ‘the Ex’. There were a few younger guys who were also wonderful. And much as I wanted to remain good friends with them, they just couldn’t accept such radical set-up. A lot of them got turned off and cut off communication with me after I told them we that needed to be realistic and accept the fact that it’s just going to futile to try building a relationship… not because of the age gap… but because of the things and situations that go with that much hyped-up gap. Of course there’s the fact that I was just out of a very difficult separation.
Okay… so, just weeks before I met and started seeing this 24 year old doll, I was just wrapping up my jogging in QC Circle one night and buying buko juice when I was greeted by another guy I was seeing last year. He’s just about to start jogging and was thrilled to see me after months of no communication.
I learned that he already has a boyfriend and in fact, the ‘bf’ was catching up to join him. Theguy was excited, wanted me to meet his lover and I said, ‘I don’t think I got enough time to stay.’
I know right? Of course it’s an awkward situation. Why the hell did he even think it’s a good idea to introduce us, yeah?
But guys you know, this guys a nice chap too. Yes, still naïve but honestly warm and friendly. I knew he didn’t mean anything else with that idea and more probably just happy to have seen me. But he suddenly looked hurt… you know the kind of look that says you never cease to hurt me.
So I decided to sit down with him and we talked but told him I might not be able to stay longer… and in my mind, hoping that the bf won’t arrive before I leave. After a few catching up chitchats, I told him that it’s not a fantastic idea to introduce me to his bf of only two weeks.
He got confused so he verbalized the thing he was alreadyexpressing with his puppy face. So, I asked him what he wanted to happen and he answered, saying that he just wanted to remain friends… wanted to know what I would think of his bf… because he also wanted us to become friends.
What I told him next freaked him out. First, I told him that he’s just starting out a relationship with his lover and in as early as two weeks, it’s still fragile especially for 20 something people like them who are most likely just having their first serious relationship… and/or living together arrangement… thus very territorial and emotional.
And here’s the rub. I told him that if he wants his bf to become friends with me, it might take me to sleep with him too, at least just once. I explained that it’s the most rational way I could think of to clear the awkward air between us.
Of course he told me that I’m out of my mind. So I replied to him saying that we got only three choices. One is to do that, the other is to pretend that his boyfriend will be so cool enough to never… not even once… develop suspicion of anything going on between us, and third… we could easily just choose to go our separate ways.
I told him that of course, I never even tried doing the first one yet. But I’m sure that whatever radically new kind of friendship will come out of it… no untoward feelings will occur anymore because again… I’m not inclined to find a serious relationship with a much younger guy.
Again, he thought that I always drive him away. He asked if it’s okay to at least hug me before he leaves (out of hurt… or disgust). I let him and hugged him back.Toldhim as I hugged him tight that I care for him more than he thought I did. But it’ll take some time before he finally gets my point of view.
So now… back to this new guy… I want to condition him slowly… now that he’s becoming more and more insistent on defining what’s going on between us.
I just hope that it won’t end up bitterly too. He really has so many things to experience yet, and I don’t want to be the one who’d snatch those away from him. If only I’m still 24, I’d let my guard down and won’t even miss the chance to experience his love.
But in my own reality, it’s almost impossible to even think that I can spend the next ten years in bliss with him. I just can’t put a blind eye on this reality. It hurts me to be hurting someone’s heart, especially this beautiful soul… but someone’s got to be awake all the time.
The next time I’m having a date, I’m going to tell him straight.
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