Eight Months In Summary

I never invited you in my life.
You barged in proudly, convincing me you were madly in love with me.

I asked how, since you barely knew me.
You said what everybody would always say -I don't know, i just love you.

True, you did put up a great effort to win me.
The cynic stepped aside and i welcomed you in heart.

But before the honeymoon even started, you told me that you already got a partner.
15 years to be exact, it was like a big joke of the universe on me.

I was caught between "at least he's honest" and "fuck you(to me) bitch,
you told yourself you're never going to do to another what your Ex and his bitch did to you".

Did you ever really realize how hard that decision was for me, huh?
I told you so many times, reiterated what committing to you would mean to me.


You manifested your love through physical and material expression.
I did my best to connect deeply with you emotionally.

I provoked you. Pushed you to the limit.
I wanted to teach you that the bad days are as important as the good ones.

You cried. You coward.
You said you aren't used to confrontations and that you'll only turn away from them.

Took your hand, led you deeper into my world.
Wanted you to realize that there's a much wider, more promising world waiting outside your overdue past.

Your door remained shut, though you hope trinkets and stories of your home would suffice.
You cling on desperately to your comforts and your fears, leaving me standing still outside your heart.

You always cried.
I speak only the truth.


In a three-way street, one is bound to get hurt, i kept telling you.
That was me, saying I'm still like everyone else, scared of getting hurt.

You only kept making promises, grand plans.
Kept repeating your lines -I Love You More.

I kept an open mind in the best that i can.
Told myself to be practical and feel you for as long as it's bound to last.

My fear was growing as i knew you were drifting away.
And you didn't even feel you were.

You could have been more brave.
You could have made firm decisions and proved to me you did love me more.


I tried the utmost to understand the wholeness of you.
You wanted more from me, we both knew that's impossible.

You were pulling me towards my breaking point, but that's something i cannot allow.
Never anymore will i go there, you very well know that.

Still i gently held your hand and hoped you'd meet me halfway.
I've already crossed the border way too far.

I couldn't move one more step baby.
You should have moved towards me for a change.

And there you are now, across the sea.
You didn't even have the strength to tell me honestly.


You didn't even have the nerve to say goodbye to me in person.
You abandoned me and you expect me not to nag about it?

I tried so hard to be cool.
Because i fucking knew exactly what i allowed myself to get into in the first place.

Now that I've confirmed my deepest fears of you.
You don't even bother to offer a single brief response?

Where's that lover now who competed with me on who loved who more?
Where's that guy who sworn, cried and assured me that i'm not his rebound?

I guess we're down to the final score now.
I loved you more... or more likely, i was the only one truly, sincerely, wholeheartedly in love.