This Storm Within (repost)

Since it's raining... and I'm feeling lonesome... I'm reposting this old blog entry that i recently found in my downelink blogs... which i apparently had... and do not remember anymore... hahah.


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10/30/06 12:58 AM
this storm within


there was much discontent inside me when it ended.

i was even the one who's made the effort to have that talk with him.

i was like hanging in the air for so long.

i realized i needed more than all of what he said that night.

for my sanity.


and as i was right in thinking... the more i draw the answers out of him, the more i understood exactly the situation im in... and the situation i was... with him.


i have not gotten better ever since that separation. at least it's what i feel.

i feel worse.


the price of realizing truth has always been told to be painfull and the knowledge of it is irreversible.

ideally i feel, it was just right i did so. subjectively, i don't know if it's gonna be okay for my self-esteem.


it's just opened yet another pack full of questions for him... for myself...


there's a storm again. they said, it arrives tonight. i envy the land because in a few days at least, the sun comes out again.

last year was the worst year in my adult life. i was just recovering from it.

then here's yet another storm i never suspected. and i clueless... embraced it... now i'm left back in pieces again.


building from the ruins is such a painfull task. if it happens... like a cycle you come to a point when just cant help but stop...


you stop and think. and feel.


how many more storms do i have to overcome? will they make me or brake me? how much more should i learn?

i feel... i'm losing my only power to stay standing still... the faith in love.


-pulangtuldok